Wills for Blended Families and Second Marriages: Protecting Everyone You Love

Falling in love again after a divorce or bereavement is a wonderful thing. But when you remarry or move in with a new partner, your estate planning suddenly becomes much more complicated — and the consequences of getting it wrong can tear families apart.

The core problem is simple: you want to provide for your new spouse, but you also want to make sure your children from a previous relationship are not left with nothing. A standard will that leaves everything to your partner can accidentally achieve exactly the outcome you were trying to avoid — your children disinherited entirely.

Here is how it happens, and what you can do about it.

The Danger of Sideways Disinheritance

This is the single biggest risk for blended families, and most people have never heard of it.

Imagine this scenario: you remarry and make a mirror will with your new spouse, leaving everything to each other. You both agree that when the second of you dies, the estate should pass to all the children — yours and theirs. So far, so good.

But here is the problem. After you die, your surviving spouse is free to change their will at any time. They might:

• Leave everything to their own children, cutting yours out entirely
• Remarry again — which automatically revokes their existing will — and the new spouse inherits under intestacy rules or a new will
• Spend or give away the inheritance during their lifetime, leaving little for anyone
• Fall ill and need care — with the entire estate, including what came from you, assessed for means-tested care fees

None of this requires any bad intention on your spouse's part. It is simply what happens when one person has sole control of an entire estate. Your children's inheritance depends entirely on your spouse's future decisions, circumstances, and relationships — none of which you can predict or control from beyond the grave.

This is called sideways disinheritance, and it is devastatingly common. Families across London and Surrey discover it every year, usually too late to fix.

Marriage Revokes Your Existing Will

Before anything else, there is a critical rule you need to know: getting married automatically revokes any existing will in England and Wales. If you had a will from your first marriage that left everything to your children, that will became invalid the moment you said "I do" the second time.

If you have remarried and not made a new will, you are currently intestate. Under the rules of intestacy, your new spouse receives the first £322,000 plus personal possessions plus half of the remainder — and your children share the other half. Depending on the size of your estate, your children could receive very little, or nothing at all if the estate is below the threshold.

Making a new will after remarriage is not optional — it is urgent. And for blended families, a simple "everything to my spouse" will is rarely the right answer.

The Life Interest Trust: The Key Solution

The most common and effective solution for blended families is a life interest trust, sometimes called a right-to-occupy trust when it relates to property.

Here is how it works:

• Your share of the family home (and potentially other assets) is placed in a trust on your death
• Your surviving spouse has the right to live in the property and benefit from the trust assets for the rest of their life — they are not made homeless or left without income
• When your surviving spouse eventually dies, the trust assets pass to your chosen beneficiaries — typically your children from your previous relationship
• Crucially, your surviving spouse cannot change this arrangement. Your share is ring-fenced for your children, regardless of what your spouse does with their own assets

This gives you the best of both worlds: your spouse is looked after for life, and your children are guaranteed to receive their inheritance eventually. Neither side is left out.

For a deeper look at how trusts work within a will, see our guide to trusts.

Property Ownership: Joint Tenants vs Tenants in Common

For a life interest trust to work properly with your home, you and your spouse usually need to own the property as tenants in common rather than joint tenants.

The difference is vital:

• Joint tenants — when one owner dies, the property passes automatically to the surviving owner by right of survivorship. Your will cannot override this. A life interest trust over the property simply will not work.
• Tenants in common — each partner owns a defined share (usually 50/50, but it can be any split). Your share forms part of your estate and can be dealt with by your will — including being placed into a trust.

If you currently own your home as joint tenants, severing the tenancy to become tenants in common is a straightforward legal step. It does not affect your mortgage, and it does not change who lives in the property. It simply means each of you owns a separate, identifiable share that your will can direct.

For couples in Richmond, Kingston, Esher, and Weybridge — where property values are high — this distinction can mean the difference between your children inheriting hundreds of thousands of pounds and inheriting nothing.

What About the Children on Both Sides?

Blended families come in many shapes. You may have children from your first relationship, your new spouse may have children from theirs, and you may have children together. A good will for a blended family needs to think about all of them.

Common approaches include:

Separate Provision for Each Side

Each partner's will protects their own children. Your share of the estate is ring-fenced for your children through a trust; your spouse's share is directed to their children. Any shared children can be included in both wills. This is the most common arrangement because it is clear, fair, and avoids arguments about "whose money" goes where.

Equal Treatment of All Children

Some couples prefer to treat all children — from all relationships — equally, regardless of biological connection. This is a generous approach, but it works best when all children are young and have been raised together, and when both partners' contributions to the estate are roughly equal.

Specific Gifts

You can leave specific items or sums to particular children. Family heirlooms, for example, often carry meaning that makes them more appropriate for your biological children, while the residual estate might be shared more broadly.

There is no single right answer — it depends entirely on your family, your relationships, and what feels fair. The important thing is to talk about it openly, with your partner and ideally with a professional who has seen these situations before.

Protecting Against Care Home Fees

One of the biggest fears for blended families is that the surviving spouse will need residential care, and the entire estate — including what was intended for the first partner's children — will be used to pay for it.

A life interest trust can help here. Because the trust assets belong to the trust, not to the surviving spouse personally, they may not be fully assessed for means-tested care fees. This is a complex area and depends on individual circumstances and the local authority's approach, but it is one of the strongest practical reasons for using a trust rather than leaving assets outright.

What If Your New Spouse Remarries After You Die?

Without a trust, if your spouse inherits your estate outright and then remarries, their new marriage revokes their will — and the new spouse's intestacy rights could swallow your children's inheritance entirely. Your children would need to make a claim under the Inheritance Act, competing against the new spouse, with no guarantee of success.

With a life interest trust, your share is protected regardless of what your surviving spouse does. If they remarry, your children's inheritance is unaffected.

Appointing the Right Executors and Trustees

In blended families, the choice of executor and trustee is particularly important. Appointing your new spouse as sole executor can create a conflict of interest — they may be both a beneficiary and the person controlling the estate. Common solutions include:

• Appointing an adult child alongside your spouse as joint executors
• Appointing an independent trustee to manage the life interest trust
• Appointing a professional executor for the trust element while your spouse handles the rest

Balance and transparency are key. The goal is to make sure everyone feels the arrangement is fair and properly supervised.

Naming Guardians in a Blended Family

If you have young children, naming a guardian in a blended family adds another layer of consideration. If you die and the other biological parent is still alive, they retain parental responsibility — your new spouse does not automatically become guardian. If both biological parents die, the guardian named in the will takes over.

Think carefully about who would be best placed to raise your children, and have an honest conversation with your new spouse about this — it is often one of the most sensitive parts of the entire process.

The Conversation You Need to Have

The hardest part of estate planning for a blended family is not the legal drafting — it is the conversation. Talking about what happens when one of you dies, and what each partner's children should receive, requires honesty, empathy, and sometimes compromise.

Many couples across Hounslow, Twickenham, and Chiswick tell me they have been putting this conversation off for years. Having a professional in the room often makes it easier — not because the decisions are complicated, but because an experienced will writer has seen every variation of this situation and can guide the discussion without it feeling personal.

How Abrahams Wills Can Help

I work with blended families across Hampton, Sunbury, Brentford, Ealing, and throughout London and Surrey. I understand the unique pressures of second marriages and stepfamilies, and I help couples find arrangements that protect everyone — new spouse, children from previous relationships, and shared children alike.

As a member of The Society of Will Writers, I draft wills that include life interest trusts, flexible trust provisions, and clear guardianship appointments, all explained in plain English during a home visit. A single will starts from £150 and a mirror will for couples from £250, including the visit. All prices include VAT.

I visit clients at home 7 days a week, daytime or evening, so you and your partner can go through everything together in your own time.